Am I still dreaming?

Ever take a moment to sit back, look at your life and think "is this for real?"....I've been doing that A LOT lately. We moved into the house that we built from the red dirt up & I can't believe I am typing this from inside the wooden planks that we wrote our family verses on before the dry wall went up. I love knowing that underneath these walls there are promises permanently written on the foundation of this home. I love that we claimed this as a CHRIST CENTERED HOME. Walking through our front door and knowing that Ephesians 3:20 is right over our heads is a physical reminder of how we got here today. Not by our "good works" because we all know we fail over and over again. Not because we have good careers. Not because of US. Not at ALL. We are here because GOD can do MORE than we can EVER ask, think or imagine. He is GOD and HE is all we need. I love knowing that the room my daughter sleeps in is in a room surrounded by Jeremiah 29:11 written on the walls. God has the perfect plan for her future. I love that Proverbs 31 is written in our room, along with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8- I strive to be THAT wife. The wife Christ wants me to be. The mom that I was destined to become. My marriage is focused around God's definition of love & the fact that we can strive towards HIS perfect love every day--knowing that we will never come close to realizing what it is but also knowing that we can try harder and harder, day after day, to love like He loves. I love this life.

Take this Sunday, sit back, think about how far God has brought you and how much farther He is about to take you. We all have stressors, hardships, failures, difficulties & regrets--but get over them. I know, I know..easier said than done...but c'mon! It is one heck of a beautiful day out, you're breathing, God is present & He is ready to take you from HERE and push you on the journey to THERE. And once you get THERE...you won't believe where the next stop may lead you.

The past few years I've made it a point to live in the moment, appreciate the NOW, become excited for the THERE and open my arms up and let God be God and let Him lead me. It sure hasn't been easy..but gosh darnit has it been worth it. Who knows, maybe you will put up your arms in full surrender, receive the promise of Ephesians 3:20....and move from the ocean to OKLAHOMA! (Yea..I wouldn't have believed it 5 years ago either if you told me that would happen to me)...but I wouldn't have this life any other way.

C'mon--take the step of faith. ;)

-Megan

{{sneak peak at the interior of our home....CANT WAIT TO POST A HOME TOUR!!!}}

This past week...

Wow has it been one heck of a week....last Thursday we had to say "see ya later" to our loving dog, Valor. Hadley has a dog allergy....and after eliminating everything else that we could think of to prove that it wasn't the dogs...we failed and alas, dogs it was. She went to an awesome family and I know she's happy there. We miss her and are still sad, but each day it gets better. Seriously, who would have thought it was so hard to give up a dog? Honestly, I knew it would be hart but not as hard as it was....thankfully, we know the family and know that she is in good hands.

We didn't have much time to really be sad about missing Valor though because Friday morning Hadley woke up in the worst mood EVER. Now, if you know this girl, you know that she is one smiling, laughing, happy baby...so the fact that she was screaming her beautiful little head off was super out of the norm! She had a 102 degree fever so off to the doctors we went....that doctors visit was interesting...they left us in the room for 45 minutes (GOSH!) so...we had fun...well, anything to keep Hadley's mind happy. She ripped something off the wall (oops..), slapped something off the mirror (oops squared) and shredded the paper on the exam table (triple oops)...that will teach the doctor to never leave us in there that long again!! Well..doc came in...examined H...and diagnosed her with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease then proceeded to tell me that it will get LOTS worse before it gets better...exactly what I wanted to hear.

So, from then to now (7 days..) we have been switching shifts between my mom, travis and I taking work off. Sleep is tough, watching her in pain is so heartbreaking it makes me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, today when we went to the Pediatrician they told us that her Hand, Foot, Mouth disease is pretty much gone...but now....there's Salmonella in the mix. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Is what I wanted to say...but instead..I just took a deep breath and immediately started asking God to heal her. I knew something was going on because I changed about 17 dirty diapers, steam cleaned poop off the carpet, mopped it off the floor, and did 4 loads of laundry in the span of 2 hours this morning. Now, she is cuddling on her dad, lots of butt paste on her little bum, and hopefully able to keep some fluids in long enough to hydrate tonight..otherwise it's back to the docs/ER we will go.

I took a trip to Target once Travis got home this afternoon (my every other day trip)....while I was driving I just turned the music off, asked God to heal my baby and just sat and listened...I was waiting to her Him. I have spent so much of this week praying to God and ASKING Him to heal my daughter but I haven't even sat down and shut up to listen. What is wrong with me? Am I really that selfish? God watched His son suffer on the Cross and He was there with Him the entire way. He was patient. He was forgiving and He had grace. So what the heck is up with me ASKING God to do all these things when I can't even LISTEN to Him tell me that it's going to be OK? I've wasted so much stress ASKING and if I would have just sat and LISTENED 7 days ago..who knows..this post may be totally different.

I heard Him. I heard Him tell me "Megan..I've got you this far. Why do you think I'm leaving you now? I got you. I've got Hadley. It's going to be fine. She's in good hands."

I don't know about you, but as a parent, I struggle with remembering this ^ the most. I just want my baby to feel better- I sit and cry with her- I feel sick to my stomach so often when she's screaming her lungs out in pain- and the entire time I look up to the sky and ask God to heal her. But what I should be doing, is look at my baby- covered by His grace, embraced with His love, protected by His promise...and be thankful that He's got it covered. I can only do so much. I can love on her. I can offer her the best nutrition possible but I can't snap my fingers and heal her...God can and God will.

Here's to knowing that God is on the scene. Here's to knowing that He does the impossible. Here's to understanding that everything is in His plan. and Here's to recognizing that we have 2 ears and 1 mouth- because listening to Him is twice as valuable as asking, asking, asking. 

Sorry for the ramble. Maybe it helps you. Maybe it doesn't. If anything, it gave you 30 seconds to think about something. Those 30 seconds are pretty darn valuable in this busy paced lifestyle...no?

Stand.

"You gave me breath so I could breath. Your great and matchless name all my days all my days. So let my whole life be a blazing offering. A life that shout and sings the greatness of our King!"

I took a day off today...to study. One day, my days off will be all about taking Hadley on fun mommy/daughter dates but until then, gotta do what I gotta do.

Anyways....

Our church has started this series called STAND, it's about standing out instead of blending in and being the light in this dark world. It's only been one week into the series and I love it. It's so relevant for today's world. Just going through work yesterday and reflecting on it during my [short] drive home made me realize that I had some opportunities to stand (and I did), other opportunities that I didn't recognize in the moment but in hindsight thought to myself "hmmm...I probably should have said something there..." and I'm sure there were moments that I still haven't recognize that maybe I should  but still cant think of them. Stand up for what? Well, stand up against negativity, stand up against talking about someone...you know, regular day to day stuff in this world.

Back in January we picked our one word for the year. My word was INTENTIONAL. I want to be more intentional with my mornings and spending my first few minutes with God, I want to be more intentional with our friends (even if it only means 10-15 minutes of saying "hi" because of our crazy schedules), more intentional about what I am eating, more intentional about what is heard around our house (we've been so WEIRD that we cut our cable and the TV is only on about a half hour a day..if that) and in addition to other items of my life that I am working on being more intentional with....I am adding "be more intentional about standing up and standing out".

I'm sure I'm not the only one that can find ways in my every day life where a simple "no" or a U-turn out of a conversation can do wonders to stand out. We're only given a limited amount of words, time, and breaths in this world. I don't know about you, but I want to use them to make a difference. To stand out in the crowd. I want to show my daughter that the world doesn't expect us to be lights and doesn't want us to be different and that showing them the unexpected is what makes life worth living. We spend our entire childhood/teen/young adult years trying to blend in...it's stupid! We weren't made to blend in, God didn't create us to conform to the ways of this world. That's EASY. We were made to overcome challenges. Only by being challenged is when we truly grow and discover what we are capable of. 

I hope you can think of some situations each day or week that you encounter in which you can now remember the beauty of NOT blending in but instead stand out and let God do His work through you in that situation. 

Well, that's my ramble for the morning. Time to get some studying done and enjoy this cup of coffee.

-M


Song of the morning: "Glory to God Forever" by Fee